21 things I learned at 21

I recently turned 21 and as the tradition goes, we had a shindig that involved me, friends, food, and alcohol followed by regret-worthy decisions. Amongst the whirlwind of adorable madness, I had a few profound epiphanies. I would love to share them along with a bunch of other ones that came over the years (Because obviously I am fucking wise now). Here we go:

  1. Be free. In thought, judgment, attitude and mindset. As a human, accept everyone and everything. Everything God created should command your respect and appreciation. Do not let the abuse of religion by a petty few guide your thought.
  1. Follow your heart and your dreams because whatever anyone can tell you would never equate with what your heart can tell you. Follow it to the ends of the earth if it takes you there. In life, your happiness will come from following your heart and not by doing what people expect of you.
  1. Dal, rum, and goon (Australian invention: a cask wine) are a bad combination. If you do not have a stomach of steel, you will regret doing this while convulsing and turning your guts out over the toilet.
  1. People will manipulate you to fulfill their own ends. You will inevitably become a part of someone’s schemes. As long as it does not harm you or anyone, let them do it. Karma is a bitch; it will come back. Be gregarious and help a brother out. However, this does not mean you have to stoop to the same levels for success.
  1. Along the way, as years pass by, there will come along some beautiful souls that can connect directly with your own soul. Take heart and courage and keep them close. These people will stick with you through thick and thin. Do not stonewall them… It is not worth it.
  1. Take life by the horns (or by the balls, if that’s your thing). Meet every challenge, hurdle, celebration, and achievement with equal enthusiasm. Be filled with so much zeal and positivity that it is infectious because as much as I hate to say it, you only live once. (Wait I have to go throw up. Be back in a second!)
  1. Bullies will forever be bullies. Ignore them, rise above because you are so much more then someone who is insecure or jealous and takes it out on you aggressively. Be gregarious and forgive. Let me tell you, them ladies or gents (or whoever non heteronormative and non-gender binary conforming person you’re into) love a black-eye. You would get a lot of attention from them with that.
  1. Wear your “Mickey mouse all stars Jazz singlet” out because you ‘gonn be hit on, son!’. Take advantage and enjoy the wolf whistles. Ya never know, one of those might be your soul mate howling at ya or someone to be your mate for the night (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
  1. Remove those headphones from your head. Listen to the world… You might hear something interesting. Besides, it’s less douchey to walk around with something glued to your ears. Also, it would be a lot less probable for you to end up as road-kill because you couldn’t hear the horn blaring. ‘Based on true story, bro!’.
  1. Do not walk into the sun with a hangover without a couple of aspirins in you and sunnies on ‘coz that shit is unreal, ya know hurts like a bitch and all. Dramatically passing out on the sidewalk, turns out, is not so dramatic. It’s more like tragic, even comical. Yup, mostly comical.
  1. Follow up from the last one, have a laugh. Follow these instructions and you will be fine. Do something stupid, take a deep breath, and let out a big laugh. If you can laugh at yourself, it won’t hurt a wee bit when everyone else does. The best bit is when you laugh at yourself because you slipped on that piece of butter paper you threw and your friends join you before they help you up. You have a funny story to tell.
  1. Smile, it’s not tough. I know, I know, you have got that brooding, dark handsome and mysterious stranger routine going on. Nevertheless, listen fella, calm down, and smile… A constant resting bitch face, NOT the best thing. It makes you easier on the eyes. Also, unless you look like Aaron Taylor Johnson, that brooding ain’t gonn work.
  1. Sleep around. Yes, sleep around. Who cares? Go around the block, do the routine. It’s fun, it’s liberating and you gather some experience. Of course be safe, indulge in safe practices and keep someone informed. Don’t be a reckless foolish mess, that isn’t cool. Own yourself, own your sexuality, do whatever ya want and whoever ya want.
  1. “If-girlfriend-likes-her-liquor” is the motto then let them have it. Just look after them for a while for instance, don’t let them run onto the road in front of a bus or if they recently finished therapy, maybe not the best idea (just saying).
  1. Do the things you want, do the things you have been fantasizing about for a long time. It’s not selfish, it’s respecting your own wishes. If you have been doing nice things for everyone, why not stop do a stock-take and do something for yourself?
  1. Also, be nice to peeps. That ish ain’t that hard. Besides, try doing it often enough you get into the habit of doing it. Moreover, when you say nasty things people take it for humor. You get to get away with being an absolute foul-mouthed tool. So, be nice.
  1. Indulge yourself, when you feel down or you think you have fallen to your absolute worst pamper yourself. You want to go to the spa done. Put on a facemask. Done. Want to make yourself that real expensive tea you bought and sit in the bathtub. done. Pop that bottle of champagne you have been saving. Done. Just do whatever that relaxes you. Something that let’s you put some distance in between you and whatever it is that is bringing you down. So you can think objectively and see clearly.
  1. Consider yourself a railway station. No, really for realzziz tho. There is a time and schedule for everything and everyone. You don’t control it. There is a much grander design for your life. Let people come and go, in and out of your life as and when they please. Don’t hanker onto anyone or anything because when you do that sometimes it saves a relationship. Most times, however, it makes it so toxic that you forget why you hung on so hard.
  1. It’s foolhardy to expect everyone who loves you will support you with everything you want to do. They will object, they will have their reservations and they will voice it because they love you not because they want you to stop. So take it in, listen, consider, and then act. Don’t be outraged or take offence. Drama, my honey-pie, is totally uncalled for.
  1. Never let people’s negativity seep into your own life. Learn to compartmentalize when someone is extensively negative put in a box and throw that box out. Simplify, you don’t need that ish in your life.
  1. Lastly, nothing in life is perfect. So, for the love of all that’s holy, stop trying to hold things back till you perfect them. Let them be out there. When they are out their they bring you feed back. You always learn from your mistakes make plenty of them.

P.S. I can’t help it, if the grammar on this is messy. 😉 I am still in the learning phase.


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